Happy Thanksgiving!
This blog will probably be on a hiatus until the New Year, but there's a chance for a random update here and there.
Purely decorative then, eh?
2 hours ago
NO MORE COUPONS!!!!!!!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
This is going to be a rant (not a normal blog post) since the following just happened to me moments ago...
I went to the grocery store to buy a few items and a bag of ice. When it came time to check-out I decided not to go to the self check-out line because I was frightened at what the nightmare could be to try and ring up a bag of ice since you have to pick up the bag on the way out of the store and I wouldn't have anything to scan. So I picked what looked to be the shortest line. What follows is a much worse nightmare:
As I started putting my FIVE items on the belt, I noticed the woman in front of me had several hundred items, but luckily 80% of them had already been rung up. After everything went through she hands the cashier and stack of coupons.
Every other coupon wasn't going through because of something stupid and thus a discussion between the cashier and the woman would take place, then an assistant manager, then a manager, then the store owner, then the mayor, then the governor, then the god damn president of the United States.
So 10 minutes go by with this terrible sequence of coupon events unfolding before my eyes. Then, just when I think it's over, I realize there are more items in front of mine on the belt. They're for a "friend" of the woman's and now another entire transaction must take place. More coupons, more confusion, more presidents approving her shitty discounts. Oh and her turkey she was purchasing didn't have a tag on it so the manager had to (slowly) walk back to find another god damn dead bird.
So I finally get my turn after literally waiting 20 minutes to buy 5 items and watching hundreds upon thousands of people around me pay for their items and leave the store. The worst part, I forgot to buy the fucking ice! I was so pissed at the entire sequence of events that I forgot to ask the cashier to ring up the ice.
Now I understand it's the holidays and our country is going through some tough times, so every penny counts. But when you're buying $300 worth of groceries, those 50 coupons are only saving you like 10 bucks. The time it took you to clip those things out of the newspapers and make sure you bought the right items does not make it worth it. I vote that from here on out there must be ONE line at the grocery store for people with coupons (like there's a line for 10 items or less) and those "crazy coupon people" can just sit for hours and hours while their brothers and sisters use the paper gold they clipped that week.
Rant over.
POTW 11/16/09
Monday, November 16, 2009
Question: Did the truck get up in the tree before or after this guy started posing?
"Yayup, I am one sexy man. Plus, I know how to park my truck up in a tree. Beat THAT Ryan Seacrest!"
Comments?...anyone?.......
If the shoe fits...we don't have it.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Have you ever gone into a shoe store, found the perfect shoe, and found a salesman to go into the back and find your size? This shoe adventure seems too good to be true doesn't it?
Then the dream turns into reality as the salesman makes his way back from the depths of the shoe abyss and the following conversation occurs:
Salesman: "Welp, we don't have it in a size 11. We DO have it in a 4.5 or an 18. Will that work?"
You: "Uhhh, sure that'll work. Let me just shave off my toes and mash my bloody foot-stump into that baby shoe version of the one I wanted...douche"
Salesman: "Well how about this shoe we have in your size:"
POTW 11/10/09
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Today's POTW came from a Google image search of "WTF"...
"Hmmm...Small jacket? check. Man-purse? check. Beeper on the belt? check. Cowboy hat? check. Pants?...DANG IT!"
Reason #397 that sometimes freedom isn't awesome.
The following are comments related to the fact he kind of looks like Bon Jovi:
"I've seen a million faces, and WTF'd them all!"
"Shot through the heart, and this dude's to blame, he gives WTF a great name..."
Let the comment(s) begin!...
2 + 2 = toilet paper
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Remember when toilet paper was just, well, toilet paper? It was one size, one type, and that's it. There was the kind that you had at home which was fine, and there was the kind in public bathrooms that resembled something more of a cardboard consistency.
It seems someone, somewhere decided that we as Americans didn't have enough toilet paper on a plain old single roll. Thus, toilet paper math was born.
Don't get me wrong, I like the fact that I don't have to change the toilet paper roll as much. It's just a problem when you need one of these to get your toilet paper to fit:
I mean when is this going to end?
I mean why stop at an extender? Why not just do this?:
I think we should revolt against these big corporation toilet paper companies and stop taking dumps. We'll show them!
POTW 11/2/09
Monday, November 2, 2009
Today's POTW came from a google image search I did last week for "Turkey leg":
Are those custom tailored shorts???
The boots really make this ensemble.
A lot like sea-horses, a male clown can actually give birth.
This is why Oklahoma can never win the big game.
Let the comments begin!...
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